Friday, June 19, 2009

Another Lincoln Log on the Fire

Well, yet another Republican is caught with his genitalia out of his trousers. So he quits his post on an important committee.

Frankly, I don't care what you do with yer dangly bits, as long as you're honest about it. And as long as you don't browbeat and scapegoat others for what you are basically doing yourself.

It reached the point where, when someone says, "I'm a Republican." My response is, "So. When did you realize you were gay?"

John Ensign: Cheating Sack of Shit.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's okay to be a gay politician. Just don't create havoc for the gay community while humping your way up to the top of the political meatpile.

Gay. Straight. Bi. Neuter. I don't freaking care. And guess what? Neither do most Americans!

David Vitter is a hypocrite sack of shit. He claimed to be this upstanding pillar of Christian morality, all the while he was paying hookers to fuck him. And I don't care if he was paying diseased hookers to let him stick his wee willy winky in their nether regions. It does not matter. What does matter is that he's a stinking hypocrite and I only hope he didn't bring home a communicable disease to his unknowing wife. (Mrs. Vitter, check for any lesions or lumps that may have appeared in recent months.)

David Vitter: Cheating Sack of Shit.

Yes, there are plenty of politically progressive folk who similarly can't keep their tallywackers in their proper places. But they don't, generally speaking, make an issue of browbeating others over the sexual things they do in private. Lefties are pretty much open about their sexual orientation. Or, if they're not open about it, they don't try to pass legislation scapegoating their fellow gays and lesbians and horny straights.

Larry Craig: Cheating, Closet-case Sack of Shit.

The bottom line is this---go ahead and be a Republican and screw to your heart's content. Do it with same-sex partners. Do it with the opposite sex. Do it with your best friend's spouse while he/she isn't looking. Hell--bang ducks, for all I care! As long as you don't create problems for those in society who are doing the same damned thing you're doing, then no one will care when they find out you do it, too! (And they will find out! Oh, be assured of that!)

Human beings are probably the most sex-loving bunch of mammals that ever crawled up the evolutionary ladder. We do it all the time. We do it with wild abandon. The planet is heavy to overloading with BILLIONS of us because we screw so often and so well. Here's some advice Republicans:

It's okay to screw!

Just don't go around claiming that you don't. (And please, for the sakes of Mrs. Vitter, Mrs. Craig, and Mrs. Ensign...wear a condom!)

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