God is an Elephant

My religious friends sometimes claim enormous "miracles" when they see Jesus or Mother Mary or Scrolls in things like toast and pizzas and window reflections and bathroom stains and such.

To this I say that God must have been an elephant, or else She would never have left so many geological clues as to Her true form.

Following is but a taste that either there is a God and She is an elephant, or that an ancient race of rock-carving elephants once ruled the Earth, or that a space-faring race of elephants visited this planet and left behind inescapable evidence of their passing. (Or--could it be?--maybe humans just imagine that shit!)

Observe:

Various elephant rocks from around the world...everywhere from California to Australia to Africa to...well, the Mother Elephant has left evidence of her Existence across the globe. Praise be her Holy Trunk!!!

I drop turds bigger than you, human!