Today, Tomorrow, Forever.

One of my son's childhood friends died a couple of days ago. I had not seen Jacob in several years--not since the CD and DVD exchange store he managed closed it doors and I no longer had a chance to stop there to talk with him about music and movies. Even Andy had not seen him in over a year, and once upon a time when they both were teenagers and then high school graduates it seemed Jacob was at our house as often as not.

Jacob died of a drug overdose--heroin.

He was a great kid and we always liked to see him around. Jacob seemed level-headed and responsible and had a good job both before he graduated high school and after. There never seemed to be a time when he was not smiling and never a moment when he was around that he didn't make everyone else feel happier. In brief, he was a very nice person and we were always cheered to see him come walking through the door with Andy.

I have no idea what made him take heroin. It makes no sense to me, nor did it to Andy--but who knows what drives a person? Perhaps it was depression? I honestly cannot tell you.

The memorial service today was overflowing. Easily 300 people. The folk running the service barely had enough space to provide everyone with parking.

Carole and I arrived for the service and immediately I became depressed, recalling what a nice young man Jacob had always been. And of course there is nothing on Earth so heartbreaking as seeing a mother who has lost a child. Mothers are not supposed to live to see their children precede them in death and when I see it I always am filled with despair.

I like to think of myself as a stoic. Sometimes I think I would have made a good Brit. Stiff upper lip and all that, you know. That's me. I try to keep most of my emotions at bay, especially despair and grief. Anger, I can handle--and sometime welcome. But sadness is not my old friend and I try to keep him far away. But today...seeing Jacob's mother in the throes of complete misery, I had to admit that bastard sadness into my life. Despite my best efforts to hold it in, seeing my own son in tears over his old pal fleeing this life, and memories of Jacob's ever-present smiles and laughter, I could not forestall those tears, either. They came, even if I hadn't seen that boy in several years. He had been a part of my own son's life for so long that I could not help it.

Jacob was 31 years old. Yes, a man of course, but my memory of him was as a kid a little older than my boy. The snuffing out of his brief life is a tragedy, and I cannot imagine what his mother has been enduring the past few days and what she must endure for the rest of her life.

Several people spoke. His older brother, his minister, his girlfriend. They talked about how happy he made them. But his younger brother also spoke, and he was bitter and angry. He had not known his older brother who had loved him so and had made him laugh so hard was tormented with a drug problem. Few, apparently, were aware. And this kid brother admitted his anger toward those who knew and did not tell others, who did not help.

Maybe that anger will help see him through all of this. I hope so. Whatever gets you through the night, my friend.

Halloween!

It's Halloween!

My son, the Medieval plague victim.

The wood stove at Carole's mom's house.

Another bit of Carole's decorations on our last camping trip that I forgot to post.

Heading Out!

Well...I likely won't be posting here much over the coming week (if at all). Off to Florida for about ten days of camping and kayaking. Andy and the cats will hold down the fort until we return.

Later!

Andy.

Lilly.

Cairo.

 

See ya later, Alligator!

Andy!

I figured I'd post some photos of my son (Andy) today. He's all grown up of course, but we still manage to find the time to go on trips together as our tiny family group. Some of our best vacations were taken as a family, including to the Florida Keys, and to Yellowstone National Park. And this year we'll head out to Glacier National Park together.

This was at Mason's Ruby and Sapphire Mine in Franklin, NC. I can't remember why Andy was laughing.

Something  was funny, though.

One of Andy's hobbies is geology. He especially likes to hunt for gem stones. At this joint they let you mine your own earth from the hillside and take it to the sluice to find gems. Andy found a few decent sapphires.

Concentration.

Andy on a hike in Linville Gorge with his old man a couple of years back.

National Parks

Carole and Andy and I love touring National Parks. Of course we're generally stuck seeing the few we have here on the east coast. But I want to visit another west coast Park this year. One that Carole wants to see desperately in Crater Lake. It's not as high on my to-see list as it is on hers, but we're thinking about it, since it would put us closer to seeing some friends we have in the Pacific Northwest.

So...maybe we'll be able to go there this year.

Our all-time favorite National Park trip was the one to see Yellowstone. Here are some photos from that trip, all firsts.

This was our first night at Yellowstone...at a little motor lodge just outside the Park. I had to have a photo of Carole and Andy in front of this goofy tree.

First encounter with a Yellowstone Park sign.

First mountain in the Park.

Our first family photo in the Park.

This was the best Andy could do with this shot. Our first sighting of a bison. He was pretty excited.

Our first hot spring/geyser.

First waterfall in the Park.

Draw of Yellowstone

In 2010 I realized a life-long dream and visited Yellowstone National Park. Even when I was a kid in grade school I would beg my parents to take me there. But they were self-employed, could not leave the family business, and it was a very long way from Georgia. And later, situation and poverty prevented me from seeing the Park, crown jewel of our entire National Park System.

But in 2010 I finally got the chance to go. We spent the better part of two weeks in Yellowstone, staying in Park lodges and spending the days hiking, touring, rafting. I couldn't get over it, of course. It was everything I had hoped it would be. Hell...it exceeded my expectations.

Three years later and I want terribly to go back there. So do my wife and son. We had our greatest family vacation there and we missed seeing so many things. Maybe we can do it again in a year or two.

Andy and Shayna

Well, we visited Carole's mom for Easter Sunday. Carole was too tired to go to church, having been awake for 24 hours by the time we got to her mom's place. When she finally gets to bed she'll have been awake for about 36 hours. Preparing for a camping trip is a major endeavor for us. We do go prepared, I have to say.

We had a good dinner. Somehow I limited myself to modest proportions of food and didn't overdo it. Baked ham, hash-brown potato casserole, green beans, stewed carrots, deviled eggs, yeast rolls, and key lime pie. One glass of wine, several of tea. Yeah. It was pretty darned good.

Andy joined us and brought his girlfriend to meet us. Carole had met Shayna before, but I never had. She's very sweet and it was good to finally meet her.

I spent the lion's share of the day working on the Casita and getting her ship-shape for the looming trip. One of my co-workers who also owns one had discovered a new method of shining up the fiberglass gel-coat. So he gave me directions of what to buy and how to apply it and I had at the task. I was very much impressed with the results. The trailer is shining almost like new!

Andy and Shayna.

The Casita glowing with three fresh coats of shiny stuff!

Pre-Christmas Celebration

We had our holiday celebration on Friday instead of Saturday. This was because Carole had to work on Saturday so it was our only chance to go to Carole's mom's place to get together with her and have a nice dinner and exchange presents. As we do every Christmas Eve, we also watched the George C. Scott version of A CHRISTMAS CAROL. I know everyone has their favorite movie version of that story, but to my way of thinking, none of the others come anywhere near touching the effectiveness of the one with George C. Scott, Edward Woodward, David Warner, and Susannah York.

I think that version was originally made for TV, which is even more astonishing to me as it was so highly produced and polished. I never get tired of watching it and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes (for all the right reasons).

This was a particularly fun Christmas for us. It was the first time I've ever felt financially secure enough to buy something really frivolous for Carole. As I consider any jewelery purchase to be completely and totally frivolous, that has never been something I've ever felt comfortable about buying. At least no jewelry that's expensive. This year, though, flush with cash from various writing projects, I did just that, and paid cash for a nice ring for Carole. It felt good to be able to do that.

My very tiny family. Carole, Andy, and Faye.

Me and Carole. (Don't ask about the high waters.)

What passed for our Christmas tree this year.

My pre-dinner snack. Port wine cheese, salami, sausage balls, and moscato wine. We went through three bottles of wine.

Carole opens the ring. She was very happy.

Da Forf

We were busy today. Doing the whole grill out and eat thing for the holiday. No fireworks, though. I've never been a fan of fireworks. They bore me. And Carole is way too tired to head out to a fireworks show. She prefers to sleep this evening. Only Andy is going to watch the aerial displays tonight.

Anyway, here's a photo of a partially unfurled rhododendron blossom from last week.