Saturday, September 13, 2008

Pancho & Lefty

Pancho & Lefty
with apologies to Wayne Sallee

My wife works in a hospital where she's a surgical tech. One night, a couple of years ago, this guy STAGGERS in quite literally writhing in pain. Seems he was suffering from something of which I'd never heard before that moment, and hope never to hear of again. TWISTED TESTICLE SYNDROME (aka Testicular torsion). They had to make an incision in his abdomen and go in and untwist it (or remove it or whatever).

While she was trying to explain this malady to me and my then-teenaged son, we were howling with laughter as she labored to explain how such things happen by way of hand motions. Andy and I could NOT stop laughing. Finally, we started riffing on the whole TWISTED TESTICLE term. Between howls of laughter, I stated that it sounded like a heavy metal rock band name.

Then Andy, veteran of many a rock concert, suddenly goes into a high pitched rock 'n' roll voice and says, "WHOA! HEY, CLEVELAND! IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE!"

And it took me about fifteen minutes to stop laughing.


dogboy443 said...

Testicular tortion first came to my attention during an episode of L.A. Law when Arnie Becker (Corbin Bernsen) developed this very painful affliction after a very enthusiastic sexual romp. Will definately spoil the mood.

HemlockMan said...

It was featured on a TV show??!!

Just curious...was the character writhing in pain?

dogboy443 said...

Writhing in pain and naked so the trip to the ER was interesting.

Stuart Gardner said...

My first boyfriend, a college classmate named Dave, shyly explained to me one day that he only had one ball. "I only have one ball," he said.
He had awakened as a teenager, screaming in pain, to find one of his balls swollen to an unimaginable size. It ruptured in the hospital and, dead, soon shrunk down to the size of a withered english pea.
At last, thanks to you, I know the full story.

HemlockMan said...