Ruined by Monsters!

This is the kind of thing that set me on the path to becoming a writer. And, of course, Kong specifically. I saw that movie for the first time when I was five years old...and there was no going back. I was hooked on a lifetime love of all things fantastic.

And then I saw this one!

The creators of magic films had their hooks in me. I was addicted to stop-motion dinosaurs, science fiction stories, and comic book adventures. I haven't regretted an instant of it all.

So here's to Willis O'Brien, Ray Harryhausen, Forrest Ackerman, Ray Bradbury, Jack Kirby, and Steve Ditko! Thanks one and all!

Kick his ass, Kong!

Great Movie?

I tend to judge all movies harshly. The only time that I'll ever cut a movie any goddamned slack at all is when its producers don't try to present it as something that it's not. If a movie is a mindless stinking action flick with no redeeming social value whatsoever and if it presents itself as such, I'll hold my tongue.

So I'm a very hard man to please when it comes to either literature or art. Despite that, I'm always out there looking for the perfect illustration, the most flawless novel, the best movie.

One thing I look for in a movie is a line of logic that is presented, accepted, and followed throughout. To that end I am ready, willing, and able to suspend disbelief and take at face value something that is, on the outside, completely illogical if the creator of the film follows that wobbly line of logic and adheres to it.

So that we all understand one another, I have only seen one perfect movie in my entire life, and that movie is the original 1933 version of KING KONG. We are led to a vast island whose natural resources have not been raped to the bare rock and where not only primitive humans live, but also dinosaurs, and also a giant ape named King Kong. I'm game if you are, and historically the American public (and the world's public) is very cool with this story.

KING KONG faces its dinosaurs and giant gorilla and the movie follows that line to its logical conclusion, all the while delivering decent characterizations and a fine story without screwing up. If you can find me a more perfect film than KING KONG, let me know about it, because by Jove I would like to see it. I've been looking...haven't found it yet.

However, there is a modern movie that I do look upon as nearly perfect and equally as entertaining as KING KONG. And that movie is GROUNDHOG DAY.

I love everything about this film. The characters are all lovely--every damned one of them, including the initially lousy person and talented TV weatherman, Phil Connors (portrayed

flawlessly by Bill Murray). And the romantic object in the movie is the painfully lovely Rita (played by Andie McDowell). Around them we are ringed by all manner of sweet, annoying, and funny supporting characters. Maybe Phil is King Kong and Rita is Ann Darrow. Hell...I, don't know!

The movie introduces the main players and the setting (an idyllic

Punxatawny, Pennsylvania) and then hits us with the illogical logic: Phil is stuck in a time loop, reliving the same day over and over and over. During the course of the movie this time loop becomes normal to us. We see Phil Connors horrified by this development; then depressed by it; then enraged by it; then humbled by it, before finally accepting it. We see the endless Groundhog Day slowly transform the asscrack TV weatherman until he becomes a decent human being worthy of winning the woman (and the day).

I always enjoy this movie. It's like a handful of other movies that hold me and force me to watch them whenever I pass a screen airing them: PATTON, SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, THE GODFATHER...movies of that caliber. Even though I own the damned thing on DVD and can watch it anytime I please, and have seen it probably a dozen times, I will stop if I see it on TV and just watch it until the end.

It may very well be the best movie I've ever seen. It's funny. It's pleasant. It makes me feel good. It's full of attractive characters (in spirit if not in body). I love GROUNDHOG DAY. (For what it's worth, I actually consider it to be a Christmas movie. It has that kind of vibe.)

One thing that does give me just a little chill at the very end. The last line, uttered by Bill Murray.

"At first we'll rent."

As if the writer is giving us the slightest hint that the old, asshole Phil is already peeking out of the

shell of goodness he'd learned while stuck in his time loop. Dictating to the woman whose love he'd so painfully won.

I like that. I like the doubt.

Another perfect movie? Maybe.




Whatever happened to Nancy Taylor, anyway? (Now we know.)
 

Why I Write: Monsters

What was it that Guillermo del Toro said? "I have Monsters in my heart." I believe that was the quote. He meant it in a totally religious way.

I think that's how many of us feel about the monsters that placed us all on our path in the Fantastic. It's definitely one of the main things that has motivated me to create. I've loved monsters since the day I cracked the covers of a book about dinosaurs that my dad gave me. They were fantastic, they were amazing, they spurred my imagination. They were monsters.

Following are the celluloid monsters that made me create.

May we see more of their like until the day the last human lays down and finally dies. Dreaming of monsters.


The first time I saw this movie I was maybe five years old. I was hooked. There was no going back. There has never been anything like it since. A pox on those who tried to recapture this magic. It can't be done. You can't improve what is already perfect.

The Wolf Man, the hunter who becomes the hunted. So many underlying themes and endless possibilities.

George A. Romero's flesh-eating zombies. Good gravy, this was a stroke of pure genius. "They're dead. They're all messed up."

The TV series OUTER LIMITS floored me when I was in grade school. I watched it every week, wondering what new monster they would deliver. Along with the Zanti Misfits, the Galaxy Being was one that totally horrified and thrilled me.

I place this most fantastic of the dinosaur monsters here because it was so influential on the Atomic Age monsters who followed. And also because it was created by the best monsterist of my day, Ray Harryhausen. Harryhausen shaped my mind as a kid. Along with his childhood pals, Ray Bradbury and Forry Ackerman: the triumvirate of monster men.
The Creature from the Black Lagoon is one of the most iconographic film monsters of all time. Every kid I knew was blown away by this critter. Superbly realized and most effective monster-as-victim. Having Julie Adams as co-star didn't hurt.

Godzilla. More popular than James Bond. For a reason.

Dracula. The vampire has become one of the most popular monster types in popular media. For me, Christopher Lee portrayed him best.I'll end with an actor. Boris Karloff (William Henry Platt--but we won't talk about that). He was Karloff to me when I was a kid. I think I loved every movie I ever saw that had him in it. One of the most under appreciated and underrated actors of the film era. Because he portrayed mainly monsters, and the larger critical community has no time for monsters. But I did. And I do. And I will.