On the Field of Play

Almost every day you are going to encounter a personality type referred to as “the alpha male”. You can’t avoid them if you go out in the world.

I encountered my first alpha-type when I was about six years old. Frankly, I’m not sure if it was just before, or just after I entered the first grade. What I recall is that he pulled that alpha male shit on me and what ensued was the first fight that I ever got into. What is most memorable to me is that a passing adult saw what was going on and pulled me off of the little shit. I had his throat against a board nailed between two trees and he could not breathe.

This was a neighborhood kid and I do not recall that I ever saw him again. Mission accomplished.

Alpha males are just part of life. You see them everywhere as you move through your routine of breathing and eating and walking the fuck around. They cause the most disruption in two locations—school, and the workplace environment. Because of my own particular personality type, I found myself beating the shit out of a lot of alpha male types in grammar and high school. Most of these victims of my rage largely ceased to suffer from their social missteps after encountering the violence I handed out to them.

All of this led me to understand that most alpha males are in need of a solid beating. I learned this early.

You will also certainly bump into that human type when you enter a workplace environment. Yes, they live there, too, because not all of them found themselves being danced upon by my feet when they were younger. By the time I began to encounter them in the jobs I’ve held I had learned that beating the shit out of someone was a move that ended up with me in the slammer in the city jail. Yes, yes, yes. It took me a few times of cooling my heels in the confines of a holding cell to realize that I couldn’t just beat the shit out of every alpha male who was bullying me, or my milder co-workers.

Over the years I have found that the best way to deal with these loud-mouths and bullies is to ignore them. This makes them think that either they have you on the run; or it makes them realize that they are dealing with someone they have not previously encountered, and this frightens them. A good, solid stare of rage can also freeze their hearts and make their balls shrink. I have employed this tactic, also.

One place that the more devious-minded alpha males end up is in the world of business. I have encountered such men in my life. You see them online a lot, which is a place that never existed until a relatively recent few years past. One such slug I would see constantly in my days moving around the social media giant we know of as “Facebook”. This website is as good a gathering place for that type of person as it is for everyone else, I reckon. Oh, well, they can’t do much in the way of harm on Facebook other than brag and strut.

But, what I soon found was the sad sight of people who need this guy’s business (or think that they do). I would watch these people—many of them, sadly, friends of mine—suck up to this jackass. They would kiss his anus and lick his imaginary balls. It’s a sad sight in general, but worse when the guys doing the kissing and licking are friends of mine. I couldn’t take it, and so I found that if I blocked the alpha, I then no longer had to watch my pals kissing his ass online.

You have options on the field of play. In this new world, I am always looking for paths that do not involve me ending up in a holding cell in the downtown jail intake center.

Don't handle it like this unless all other options are unavailable and you don't mind sitting in the jailhouse until someone can come bail your ass out. (Yes, I have been there several times, and for just that reason.)